Psalms

The psalms are such a beautiful collection of poems that were originally put to music.  In fact the name for this book in Hebrew, "Tehillim", comes from the word "halal" which means "to praise" (this has the same root as hallelujah which means to praise to Jehovah).  So many of the words in this book of the Old Testament resonate with me and are found throughout the New Testament, other scriptures, and our hymns.  I recently rediscovered the beauty found in the much-quoted Psalm 23:

 1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I have felt this in my life.  Surely goodness and mercy have followed me and I truly have been led by a loving Father in Heaven.  Even when things are difficult and when it feels like we are in the valley of the shadow of death, let us each remember how our cups runneth over and how we are never forgotten by a loving shepherd.

The Miracle of Prayer

About two weeks ago, my sister, her friend, and I decided to go on a trip up in Wyoming for a friend's wedding reception. It was going to be a four to five hour drive from our hometown in Utah, so we were going to stay the night and go back home in the morning. I could tell my mom was worried, and she probably should have been because this was the first road trip me and my sister had ever gone on alone. In all honesty, I was worried too, after all, I was still in high school and my sister and her friend were only freshmen in college; this was going to be a new experience for all of us. My mom had made a mental checklist for us and ran it by as we were walking out the door.

"Do you have coats?" she asked.
"I have two jackets and a thick sweatshirt," I replied and my sister responded with something similar.
"Blankets and sleeping bags?" she said counting off her fingers.
"We don't need them, they're going to have beds for us," my sister said, but my mom crossed her arms.
"You will take our two warmest sleeping bags, what if you were to get stranded somewhere and froze?" Slowly, we agreed to everything our mom told us to bring and we were on our way.

After we picked up my sister's friend we turned off the car and faced each other.
"Will you pray?" my sister asked me, and a nodded. My prayer was short and far from anything extravagant, I simply asked that we'd be protected on our journey and that we'd all return home safely. After we said amen, we started the car and drove away.

We'd were about an hour away from our destination, and I was half asleep in the back of our car, my ipod in one hand and my head leaning on the other. We were driving down a narrow two way highway in the middle of nowhere Wyoming going about sixty mph when suddenly the car jerked to the left. My eyes popped open and my head flew up as I felt the jarring impact of our car hitting a large semi truck. A wall of red flashed by my window and I heard someone scream, later I realized it had been me. Then, without time for me to comprehend what was happening we were swerving right and sliding down a snowy hill. Our smoking car came to a stop and I was vaguely aware of my sisters friend reaching over and taking the keys out of the ignition.

My hands were trembling as I looked around, examining the scene around me. My sister was in tears, her friend trying to reassure her, our windshield looked like a spiderweb, and I was grateful it hadn't shattered. We were missing the left side view mirror, and I couldn't open any of the drivers side doors. Later, when I got out of the car, I realized the damage was much worse than I had thought. The whole drivers side of the car was either crushed, dented, or twisted in some bizarre form. The front tire was so mangled I could hardly recognize it and I immediately knew the car was totaled. It was near zero degrees outside, well below freezing, and our once warm car was already starting to feel cold.

Many people stopped on the side of the road to help us, and it was then I was able to get the whole story of the crash from my sister.We had been coming around a bend in the road when we'd hit a patch of black ice. Our car slid over the line, into the oncoming traffic of the semi, and we should have hit him head on. Instead our car fishtailed and we moved enough to just hit his wheel, then our car was thrown in the opposite direction and slid down the snowy hill. Everyone we talked to was surprised we hadn't rolled because of the slope of the hill and we were just grateful.

As we waited in our freezing car for three hours for the policeman and the tow-truck to come, I started to count the miracles I'd seen.

1. We were alive and no one had been hurt, not even a single scratch or bruise. If we'd hit the semi head on, my sister and her friend would be dead, and I would either be with them or seriously injured. If we had missed the wheel and gone underneath the truck, we would have been crushed. It seemed to me that we hit the only place on which we could have received the least amount of damage and injuries and we didn't roll down a hill like we should have. I was not about to just leave it there and say it was luck, no, it was the first of my miracles.

2. While neither my sister nor I had ever been in an accident, our friend had and she knew what we were supposed to do. She helped to calm us down in a scary situation by remaining in control. She had us call our parents while she called 911 and reported the accident. She helped talk to all the people stopping and asking if we were okay and showed my sister what she needed for when the police officer came. It would have been a much more frightening situation without her.

3. Cell phone reception. In the middle of nowhere Wyoming, forty-five minutes away from the closest city, we had cell reception. At first this didn't seem like a miracle until everyone that stopped to help us couldn't find a signal. We were the only ones in the area that had reception, and without it we wouldn't have been able to notify our family or the police of our accident.

4. We had sleeping bags to keep warm. My mother had been inspired that afternoon when she'd told us to bring the sleeping bags. It was well below freezing and we had to wait in our car for three hours before help arrived. We all huddled in the back seat, the two sleeping bags unzipped with one on the bottom and one on the top. We had warm clothes too, but even with all that we could still feel the chill and our feet were so cold they hurt because we'd been walking out in the snow, but without my mom's inspiration to bring the sleeping bags, we would've been a lot colder.

5. We all got home safely. After the accident we'd called my dad and he'd left right away to come get us, but it was going to be a long drive. The tow-truck finally arrived three hours later and we met my dad in a small city forty-five minutes back towards home where we got into his car and completed the journey home safely.

This is a day I will never forget. I believe we were protected out there on that freezing day because of the prayer we'd offered before we'd left. After the accident, while we were waiting in our car, we'd offered a prayer of thanks and thanked our Heavenly Father for protecting us. I know that sometimes we feel unimportant, but in the eyes of our Father in Heaven, we are all precious, and he loves and cares for us. He cared enough to keep three young girls, a sixteen year old and two eighteen year old, safe from harm and returned us safely to our families. I know he's watching out for us, and knows who we are and what we're doing. He want to be a part of our lives and will help us in any way He can, if we only ask for that help. He is my Father, and I love and appreciate all He's done for me. I know prayer is a powerful tool and that we can all use it whenever we need it, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

You're Beautiful in His Eyes

      Recently I stumbled upon this song, Beautiful, and fell in love with it. This song came to me exactly when I needed it, and to me that's a miracle, an answer to my prayers. Miracles don't have to come in big miraculous ways, often they're small seemingly insignificant things that can change the course of your day, or help you get to where you need to be. This song was one of my miracles. I was struggling with my self-esteem and I felt alone and unwanted. I had just returned home from a a particularly bad day at school when my cousin tagged me in a facebook post that held this song in it. Curious, I clicked on it. I connected with the song instantly as it started with how we all feel weak and unimportant. Then it reminds you that there's more. How we're made for more than this, how we're His children and that He loves us. And over and over again it tells us that we're beautiful, we're beautiful because He made us that way and that's how He sees us. Overall, His opinion is the only one that matters, and when I realized that it made all the difference.

The Power of Support

Recently my little girl has been moved to a difficult new program in school that is something we knew would be a big academic challenge. It is a fantastic opportunity, but to a six-year-old it is scary to feel behind and unsure of yourself. My husband and I know that she will be just fine in a few months, but my sweet girl has been pretty worried in the meantime. To help her feel better I have been writing little pen messages on the palm of her hand in the morning so she can look at them when she feels overwhelmed. She gets so excited to have this little note that is meant just for her and it makes me glad that I can do a little something to help alleviate the pressure. Yesterday morning I quickly wrote, "believe you can do it!" and continued getting kids ready for the day. As she walked out the door I noticed that she had written something else and took a closer look. My little girl slightly changed my message by adding one letter to read, "'I' believe you can do it!" I gave her a hug and asked her why she made the change. She sweetly replied that it made her feel so much better knowing that I believed in her.

I know that when I have been in need of help, knowing that others support me and believe in me makes all of the difference in how I feel. Many have been blessed with families and friends who love them and support them. However, if you ever feel alone please know that we can always rely on the support and love of our Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to be happy. He believes we can do it! We are never really alone and really, just having that support can make all of the difference.

Looking for People's Signs

This post is a little long, but it is a fantastic reminder to be kind to others because we never know what they're going through. Please check it out, it really is a sweet story.

We Are Sowing

Lately, I have been trying to recognize my impact on others and the words of the hymn We Are Sowing made me think about this even more:

We are sowing, daily sowing countless seeds of good and ill,
Scattered on the level lowland, cast upon the windy hill;
Seeds that sink in rich, brown furrows, soft with heaven's gracious rain;
Seeds that rest upon the surface of the dry unyielding plain.

Seeds that lie unchanged, unquickened, lifeless on the teeming mold;
Seeds that live and grow and flourish when the sower's hand is cold.
By a whisper sow we blessings; by a breath we scatter strife.
In our words and thoughts and actions lie the seeds of death and life.

Thou who knowest all our weakness, leave us not to sow alone!
Bid thine angels guard the furrows where the precious grain is sown,
Till the fields are crown'd with glory, filled with mellow, ripened ears,
Filled with fruit of life eternal from the seed we sowed in tears.

I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified that even little things that I do can make such an impact on others. We really never know when something that we say, write, or do will make a difference for someone. I love that this hymn not only reminds me of how important the seeds I sow are, but that I am not alone in what I need to accomplish. Heavenly Father wants to help us and rejoices when we do good in this world. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant at the time, our acts of goodness can grow into something wonderful.

D&C 6:33-36 ~ "Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward. Therefore fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are build upon my rock, they cannot prevail...Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."

Picture Source

Smooth Skies

I was unsuccessfully trying to convince myself that I was not totally insane as I watched my 3 and 5-year-olds carry heavy backpacks onto the airplane while I held my 10-month-old baby along with two other large carry-ons. I was going to be making the first leg of a long journey by myself with my three young children (one of which had gotten airsick on quite a few flights) and I was justifiably terrified. I had to get through the six hour trip by myself at which point I would meet up with family who would be able to help refill sippy cups, change diapers, and hold the baby. I knew that braver people had traveled with more and younger children, but it seemed daunting to me and I just wanted everything to be over.

But, despite the dozens of disturbing scenarios I had gone through before hand (usually involving various bodily functions), things really were pretty uneventful on this flight. Before we took off a sweet woman came and introduced herself to me and offered to help me if I ever needed it during the flight. This kind act helped me to calm down and it meant a lot knowing I had a little backup. During the flight the kids were relatively well behaved and the baby even slept for quite a while! Other than a wide array of food wrappers that marked our seats, I exited the plane tired but amazed at how smoothly everything had gone.

When I met up with my parents for the rest of the trip, ironically enough, the travelling sections felt a little more chaotic. Bags were misidentified, the baby cried much more, my little boy had some disgusting stomach problems, kids became exhausted, we missed a flight and had to stay overnight, and unfortunately the list goes on. Not that it was all bad - or that the kids were horrible - it just seemed much harder than that first leg. Admittedly, the kids were the most well-rested on that first plane, but I think that the real reason that things went as well as they did were the prayers that I know were offered up in my behalf. I believe that Heavenly Father knew what I could and could not handle and truly buoyed me up that day. I know it was just six hours, but it was a small miracle to me that things went as well as they did when I needed the most help. During that flight I know that I felt the comforting power of prayer. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who watched over me on that airplane and who continues to watch over each of us daily to give us the smooth parts of our journey when we need them most.

"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my anme, which is right,

believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."

-3 Nephi 18:20

Image Source

Eat, Eat, Eat!

I know I am completely biased, but I am pretty sure that I have one of the most adorable babies ever. She smiles at anyone who will give her attention, can give high-fives, and makes the happiest noises when she is excited. But, despite all of this cuteness, she has one trait that I am not loving at this stage of life: serious stubbornness when it comes to eating.

When she was solely nursing, my little one was startled during one feeding session and then decided that she would not nurse for four days unless I could be sneaky while she was asleep. I watched her getting more and more hungry and dehydrated until she finally gave in and began nursing again. Since then we have had other nursing strikes that haven't been quite as long, but have certainly been just as frustrating. Now that she has branched out into solid foods, we have had similar battles and it amazes me the will power a nine-month-old can muster.

I know that my baby needs nourishment to thrive and it is positively exasperating when she does not comply with this understanding. I know that our Father in Heaven probably does not get frustrated the same way that I do in situations like these. But, how do you think He feels when I am not complying with His plan for me - one in which He knows what will be best for me? Just like my baby needs to eat, we need to spiritually taste of the goodness of the gospel and comply with its' teachings to grow closer to our Father in Heaven. I am grateful that I have a patient Heavenly Father who understands my limitations and will help me progress despite my stubbornness and I am also grateful that one day my little baby will be a teenager who will devour all the food I bring into our home.

Service

I love that General Conference always leaves me thinking. From past conferences, I have been reminded to improve things like my scripture study, prayers, or temple attendance. But, this time I came away with the feeling that I need to not only teach my children about the importance of meaningful service, but I need to find ways that I can reach out to others as well. President Monson's talk about service summarized these ideas for me and I loved the adorable Primary idea of creating a collection of their "warm fuzzies" that they obtained from serving others. As we come into a season where a lot of us look for opportunities to serve in our community, how can we find ways to truly teach our children about the responsibility we have to help others? How do we instill in them and ourselves the desire to lighten another's burden? I would love to hear ways that you have taught children about this important principle or have incorporated service into your own busy lives.

Other than Conference, two blog posts I've read lately that have kept me thinking about this topic were here and here.

Forgiveness

I recently had the opportunity to teach a lesson on something that I don't usually take the time to think about: forgiveness. Of course when I make mistakes (as I regularly do), I quickly hope for others' forgiveness so that I can move on and try to do better the next time. But what about when I am in a position to forgive another? Sometimes, hurt or frustration at being wronged makes it difficult to forgive and move on from a negative situation.

A family member shared the wise saying, "carrying a grudge is like slowly being stung to death by the same bee." While I regularly hope that others will forgive me, it is often times difficult to reciprocate that forgiveness to others. How can we move past hurt feelings and gain the peace that comes from forgiveness? Answers are so specific to each instance, but I know that through prayer and sometimes humbling ourselves, we can find the strength and the power we need to forgive those who have wronged us. As the Savior taught on many instances, it is not our place to judge others, but to humbly ask our Heavenly Father to, "forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matthew 5:12). I hope that I can learn more fully to move beyond past hurts and not only forgive others to gain peace for myself, but to also extend a small portion of the gift we have been given through Christ's sacrifice for each one of us.

Give a Care

It's a recognized fact that "children say the darndest things," likely because they see the world in such a literal way. For example, my two-year-old nephew one day overheard his dad saying about something or other, "I don't give a care." And my nephew, after a few moments went up to his dad and held out his tiny, clenched fist. Then he said, "Here, Dad. Here's a care," and placed an invisible "care" on the table for his dad.

There was a time in my life when it was safer not to care too much about things because I feared that they would be taken away or ruined. Even at a young age, I had experienced the heartache of losing things and people that were very dear to me. I deliberately walled off my heart, and was probably heard to say at one time or another that I didn't "give a care." Certainly that was my calloused approach to life for quite some time.

I remember in the early weeks of being newly married that I frequently experienced a lot of fear about losing my husband. I had opened my heart to him and had learned to care for him deeply. I could not bear the thought of the pain it would cause me to lose him, and it made me a little worried that I had let myself become so emotionally vulnerable.

Now we are expecting our first baby. And already, the intense and pure sense of care I feel for this little one is overwhelming. There are moments when I wonder if I could possibly handle any more.

The more I live it, the more my life seems to teach me to "give a care." I cannot honestly say I have completely abolished the fear of losing what has come to mean more to me than anything in the world -- my family -- but I can say that the edge of my fears has been softened by a better understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know through revelation given by God to modern prophets that "the divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." (See also "The Gospel Blesses Families and Individuals" at mormon.org)

The love and care I give to my family changes when I remember that the relationships I develop and nurture now will last not only through this life, but also throughout the eternities. I desire to be more patient, more understanding, more helpful and more grateful.

I marvel at how rich life can be when I allow myself to care a little more about those around me. It always seems that a day is brighter when I am at peace with others in my life. Even after the glow of the "honeymoon period" in marriage has been replaced by the common tasks of day-to-day living, the sense of loving care I feel toward my husband has not diminished, but has been enriched. I anticipate the same will be true with our little baby, despite the expected onslaught of diapers, midnight feedings, and meltdowns. Opening our fists to give a "care" on a daily basis is not mundane, but is exalting. Indeed, in so doing, we become more like our Savior, whose hand, which bears the marks of His sacrifice for us, "is stretched out still." (Isaiah 49:16, Isaiah 9: 12, 21)

Happiness, Your Heritage

This past General Conference had many highlights for me, but I have to say my favorite talk was by President Uchtdorf, given at the General Relief Society Meeting. While he was talking specifically to the women of our church at this meeting, his comments are so poignant and applicable to all. He concluded with the message:

"I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father - as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others - God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment. As spirit daughters (and sons) of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage."

What were your favorite quotes/talks from this past Conference? Has anything been particularly meaningful or helpful to you?

For President Uchdorf's full talk, click here.

The Friendly Neighborhood Cemetery

Spooky. Creepy. Eerie. These are words that I used to associate with graveyards, but since we have been living at a new home my perceptions have definitely changed. We recently moved across the street from a large city cemetery. At first I couldn't understand why people would take their children on walks through the grounds, but pretty soon my own family became drawn there because of the beautiful trees, birds, and abundance of squirrels.

Now, it seems as if we go on walks through the peaceful grounds 4-5 times a week and I often find myself reading the many headstones. I think it is so beautiful that almost every marker shows the deceased relationship to another. Simple and beautiful phrases such as beloved mother or father, noble son, cherished daughter, and loved friend are often the only writing that accompanies the names and dates. During my strolls I still have not come across a stone that really talks about a person's status or accomplishments. Not surprisingly, gravestones do not usually mark where the "richest banker" or individual with the "highest university degree" lies. In the end, it all comes down to what kind of person rests beneath the stone. Who will miss that person? Was that individual truly loved by their children and spouse? Did that person honor their parents and siblings? Will that individual be missed in the community and among their friends?

These walks continue to help me reevaluate where I am on my journey back to my Father in Heaven. I hope when all is said and done I will be missed for the right reasons and not forgotten because I devoted my energy to things that fade with time. Families are forever and the simple messages in the cemetery show that this is all that really matters in the end.

"A Little Child Shall Lead Them"

How often I have found myself yanked back into reality by the sweet innocence of my children. Recently, upon putting my youngest child into a 'big girl bed' we have fought the losing battle of keeping our two girls in bed, when they would much rather be out giggling, trading beds and doing anything and everything but dreaming. It is, to be certain, a frustrating experience. However, I learned a beautiful lesson from my children these last few nights. Jeremey and I have, for the sake of our sanity, decided to continue with our bedtime routine, put our girls into bed, put up the gate so they can't escape, and let them 'tough it out'. There have been tears, tattling, screaming and mess-making. But without fail, the last two nights, as our littlest has fallen asleep on the floor, we have found her covered with her special blanket, a doll tucked neatly underneath, and a big sister asleep right next to her keeping vigil. How grateful I am for such a sweet reminder of the unconditional love of the innocent. I had another such moment when, after putting my oldest daughter in time out for picking on her little sister, I watched as my little girl walked over to her big sister and stood right next to her in time out, with their arms wrapped around the other. I know that, had I been cracked on the head with a barbie car, I would not be so forgiving and willing to suffer right along with my abuser. This is not something I can honestly say they have learned from me -- it is far more likely that it is the innocence they inherited from their Father that they have yet to lose. And I hope they never do -- what beautiful spirits and sincerity.
There are times I am so often frustrated by my children, and wonder what it is I am not teaching, or how I ought to better approach them. But then I realize that I learn from them -- every day. I learn how to be a better mother from my children. I can't think of a greater truth -- and a straighter way to salvation -- than to 'be as a little child'

“And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
“And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.” Matt. 18: 1-5