Monday, February 22, 2010

The Spirit of God

My little girl was due for her shots this last week. Every time I thought of taking her to get her shots, I felt nauseous. I tried to convince myself I just didn't like that she cried when she was poked. The day before her doctor's appointment, the missionaries even stopped by to give her a blessing to calm my nerves, but the feeling wouldn't leave. When we got to the doctor, I allowed them to give her almost all of the shots until the nurse go to the MMR vaccine. At that point I felt dizzy to the point of fainting. Something just felt wrong. I told the nurse that we were going to wait on that particular vaccine and we went home with me thinking I was totally crazy. I even called to schedule another appointment when we got home because I thought my nerves were just being too jumpy.

Today, I took my little girl to the allergist for her peanut allergy. The doctor suggested we test her for the typical childhood allergies. After they did the scratch test (they make little scratches on their arms and expose them to allergens to see what they are allergic to,) the nurse came in to check her arms. Her mouth dropped open and she immediately demanded if I have given my child the MMR vaccine. With no logical explanation as to why I didn't, I told her it just didn't feel right. She told me that my listening to my mother's intuition I had probably saved my child's life. She is extremely allergic to eggs and the MMR is an egg-based vaccine.

I know that it had nothing to do with mother's intuition and everything to do with the fact that God was watching out for me and my little girl. I am so grateful that the feelings were persistent even though I tried to shake them off and that in the end everything turned out OK. I have been reminded today that God is watching out for all of us and that he communicates to us through the spirit.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Our eternal family

I have always wanted to accomplish great things in my life. I was the kid with a goal list reaching across the continents. When my little Sofie was born a little over a year ago, I decided to stay home. It was great and I loved it. We lived with my parents for awhile why my husband was on the job search so there was always something to do, always someone to be around. Then we moved 2,000 miles away.

In the last few months of my life and the first time of doing the mom thing on my own, I have felt worthless, like I was accomplishing nothing I wanted to in my life. After listening to Sofie scream for the 5th or 6th day all day in a row, a couple of weeks ago, I was done. I told my husband that I was going to seek out a studio and go back to work full time as a photographer. He suggested I pray about it. I didn't have to.

I know with my whole heart that at home is where the Lord wants me to be. That spending time with Sofie is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Family is the most important thing in the whole world. I get to have Sofie forever, which I am grateful for, but she won't be a child for ever and I need to focus on her so I don't miss it.