Be Still...

Both in the world and personally it feels like I am often losing footing in all of the turbulence. With earthquakes and economic woes in the headlines, at home we are trying to find employment and make plans even though there are severely limited options right now. A few weeks ago I was trying to plan for every eventuality and I starting losing sleep and feeling pretty horrible. Questions like, "how can I do it all?" or "how is this possibly going to work out?" kept running through my mind.

One day I was working myself into another frenzy when the thought quietly crept into my head, "be still and know that I am God" (D&C 101:16). I realized that I had been believing that I could plan my way and foresee every dip in the road. This reminder that I need to trust in the Lord has brought me the peace for which I longed. I still don't know what we will be doing after graduation. I still don't know how long economic troubles will plague our nation. I still don't know why people are suffering from natural disasters. But, I do know that I am not in charge and the Lord has a path for each of us. I hope that we can all feel peace and guidance of our Heavenly Father in our lives.

Here is an excerpt from my favorite hymn, Be Still, My Soul:

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side...

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds sill know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

The Scriptures: the word of God

I have always been a little silly about my scriptures, especially because I've always had a copy with the Old and New Testament, The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine & Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price. When I started college, I knew that my scriptures from high school seminary were a bit marked up and there wasn't really a meaning in my markings; simply, the more markings, the more I liked the scripture or the more times I had learned from its teachings. My best friend finally suggested we move on to new scriptures together. Well, I did it. I bought new scriptures and I signed up for a scripture study/power of the word institute of religion class at my university. It was such a hard thing for me when I would go to do my personal study of the scriptures to pick up the completely unmarked copy and study. I found myself more often than not turning to my seminary scriptures looking for the comfortable feeling I found there.

As I attended my institute class on scripture study, I was grateful I had purchased the new scriptures. I was grateful that I was able to start over in my marking and create a process of marking that really meant something and aided in my learning from those great pages. I found that as I marked and read and studied, I found greater and deeper meanings from the pages of the books I had read since I was a young girl. I found that I could identify principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ and then ponder upon the applications to my own life. Changing to what I now refer to as my "institute and college" scriptures was a great decision. It opened the doors to new learning and growth in my understanding of Jesus Christ, His atonement, His love, and His plan. I found that this change was something I needed. So often, change is hard. We move places, we end schooling, we find a career, we meet someone who changes our life, we question what we believe, we wonder if mom and dad really did know everything, but no matter what it is, things change. These changes can and often are wonderful opportunities for growth. Moments when we can put our trust and faith in the Lord and know that even though we may not know the outcome, He does.

About two months ago, my husband and I packed up our belongings, put them in storage and moved in with my parents for a couple of months, hoping we would have our own place soon. This was just one of those changes I would face in the coming months. I was unpacking and went to grab my scriptures when I suddenly realized they were no where to be found among the heaps of belongings we had transferred to my parent's home. I was devastated. Were they in the car? At the old apartment? In the storage unit? I worried and prayed and searched for those beloved scriptures that had come to symbolize so much for me. I scoured the car, cleaned every part of the apartment and even went through most of the boxes in our storage unit. I did not find them. I was sure they were accidentally packed away in the far reaches of a box I couldn't get to, or that they would simply show up eventually. Luckily, I had another set I studied from during the month and 1/2 that we were there, but that didn't save me from a few tears.

We did finally get our own place and as we unpacked every box, my apprehension grew. My scriptures were not there. I again gave myself up to weeping on behalf of my scriptures. They had come to mean so much to me. They had been the tool for much of my gospel growth and learning in the last 6 years. I had taken them to 4 different countries. I was devastated and sat on the floor crying. I finally moved to my knees and asked my Father in Heaven if He could help me find my scriptures that were such a treasure to me. As happens when we pray, He answered, but not in the way I was hoping. I had the feeling come over me that seemed to say, "Change is important. You are changing, your life is changing, and your learning in the gospel also needs to change. It's time to get some new scriptures. There is much more for you to learn." I can't say I heard those words exactly, but I do know that I felt very strongly that it was time for me to change. I am grateful that the Lord sees fit to teach us in ways that are so perfect for us. My scriptures have been a symbol of growth and change for me so many times. I know that they truly do hold the word of God for us and that as we truly study the words within the pages, we will grow, change, and find new life for the new us.

Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice

I love General Conference and the amazing opportunity everyone has to listen to the words of inspired leaders. In troubled times like these, messages of hope and strength will probably be especially meaningful to many. We invite all to participate in the 179th Annual General Conference. If the sessions that occur this Saturday or Sunday are not shown on your television, they can also be viewed online. The words of the following hymn seem particularly poignant leading up to this weekend's events.

Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice
(lyrics from hymn #21)

1. Come, listen to a prophet’s voice,
And hear the word of God,
And in the way of truth rejoice,
And sing for joy aloud.
We’ve found the way the prophets went
Who lived in days of yore.
Another prophet now is sent
This knowledge to restore.
2. The gloom of sullen darkness spread
Thru earth’s extended space
Is banished by our living Head,
And God has shown his face.
Thru erring schemes in days now past
The world has gone astray;
Yet Saints of God have found at last
The straight and narrow way.
3. ’Tis not in man they put their trust
Nor on his arm rely.
Full well assured, all are accursed
Who Jesus Christ deny.
The Savior to his people saith,“Let all my words obey,
And signs shall follow living faith,
Down to the latest day.”
4. Then heed the words of truth and light
That flow from fountains pure.
Yea, keep His law with all thy might
Till thine election’s sure,
Till thou shalt hear the holy voice
Assure eternal reign,
While joy and cheer attend thy choice,
As one who shall obtain.

Text: Joseph S. Murdock, 1822–1899. Verse four, Bruce R. McConkie, 1915–1985. © 1985 IRI

His Help

Challenges seem to come in all forms, but my current hurdles are approximately the sizes of large garden gnomes. To be more specific, they are my four-year-old and two-year-old. Please don't get me wrong - I love my children dearly. I love being a mother more than anything else that I have been able to do. However, it never ceases to astonish me how these two rambunctious beings can continually throw me for a loop. For me, parenting is a constant lesson to try and learn more patience, creativity, and love. And, sometimes after a full day of attempting to teach difficult skills like sharing and kindness, I feel utterly exhausted.

After one morning of particularly loud sibling rivalry, a sweet hour of nap-time quietness came. Picking up the Ensign (March 2009), I had the chance to read an interview with Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president. She enthusiastically spoke of all the wonderful things that women have the opportunity to accomplish and when asked how women can do all of this she responded, "If she is helping the Lord with His work, she is entitled to His help." On this particularly hard day, Sister Beck's message powerfully struck my tired soul. One of the things that I know to be true is that families are the work of our Father in Heaven. He wants children reared in homes filled with love and compassion. My work as a mother is His work. Therefore, I am entitled to His help. To me, this is an amazing gift to know that I have a Heavenly Father who wants me to succeed and who is constantly trying to help me. Thank goodness, because I need all the help I can get trying to keep these two on the garden path.

Realization

Just a few days ago I shared our visiting teaching message with a couple of sisters. While I was pondering over the thoughts and quotes we would share, President Uchtdorf's word's suddenly meant so much more than I had ever thought.

“The gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges. He said to Paul and to all of us, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’ And like Paul we can answer: ‘My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me’ (2 Corinthians 12:9)” (“Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2007, 19).

I had once assumed that Ether 12: 27 meant that the more we work at something, the better we will get at it, until it is no longer a weakness for us, but a strength. And that's part of it. But the other part, the part I was missing was the role of the Savior. We all have our weaknesses, but only with the help of the Savior can we overcome them. Through our weaknesses, Christ makes up the rest and fills in the holes that would potentially keep us from exaltation. We are perfected through him. What a great opportunity it is for us to learn and to draw closer to the Savior through our struggles and imperfections!

At this time of year and in these difficult times it seems so hard sometimes to remain positive and have a good attitude about the future. But our knowledge of a Savior and His Atonement are reason to rejoice and remember "there is hope smiling brightly before us."

Standing Strong

Sometimes it is hard to stand up for ourselves and our believes. I know it is hard for me. We live in a world were people are easily offended and hard hearted when it comes to religion. Often I find that it is scary to stand up for what I know to be true, especially to the ones I love. Today, I just wanted to share a thought that I have kept on my fridge for many years. When I feel afraid, or down about myself, I often see this thought and it makes me feel stronger to face the things that life throws at me and reminds me of the person I hope to someday become.

It is a wonderful thought by President Henry B. Eyring. He quoted it in a talk several years ago (I am not positive who the author really is because it is attributed to many people), and I am sure that many have heard it before.

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"

"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, color-less dreams, tamed visions. worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."