Compassion, Charity, Mercy, and Love

Recently, my husband took our son on our ward father's and son's camp out.  My husband spent some good time chatting with a former mission president around the campfire.  They touched on the topic of sending missionaries home (yes, sometimes LDS missionaries get sent home).  My husband and I have been guilty of taking a letter-of-the-law approach at times and would probably say in this situation, "Well, if a young man isn't behaving as he should on his mission, or if he wasn't worthy to go, then teach him his lesson: send him home."

This loving, kind, former mission president taught us something.  He said that when working with one of these young men, he'd handle it this way:  You can repent and take care of matters while on the mission and return home honorably, or we can send you home now where you'll face the embarrassment and shame of coming home early, and it will ruin your life and probably your involvement with the church (I'm sure he made it sound much nicer than that). Rather than making these young men miserable, he wanted to help them be successful. What a charitable approach.

I realized that I need to do better and give people the benefit of the doubt and to be more compassionate.  It's not my job to lay down the law; it's my job to show love and mercy as the Savior did and make life better for others.  I can leave the judging up to our Father in Heaven.

Not only does this help me be less judgmental of others, but it also, for some reason, helps me lighten up with raising my children.  I don't have to be too strict.  I don't have to make them be little adults.  They can be kids and have fun, and I can have fun with them and be a guide when they struggle just like that former mission president was with his struggling missionaries.

The Deal

This video was submitted to this blog and shows some of the messages in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet that is available through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

"Movie produced by the Port Washington Branch youth in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Done for a local film festival with the Area Ward in the North Milwaukee, WI stake."

The Power of Support

Recently my little girl has been moved to a difficult new program in school that is something we knew would be a big academic challenge. It is a fantastic opportunity, but to a six-year-old it is scary to feel behind and unsure of yourself. My husband and I know that she will be just fine in a few months, but my sweet girl has been pretty worried in the meantime. To help her feel better I have been writing little pen messages on the palm of her hand in the morning so she can look at them when she feels overwhelmed. She gets so excited to have this little note that is meant just for her and it makes me glad that I can do a little something to help alleviate the pressure. Yesterday morning I quickly wrote, "believe you can do it!" and continued getting kids ready for the day. As she walked out the door I noticed that she had written something else and took a closer look. My little girl slightly changed my message by adding one letter to read, "'I' believe you can do it!" I gave her a hug and asked her why she made the change. She sweetly replied that it made her feel so much better knowing that I believed in her.

I know that when I have been in need of help, knowing that others support me and believe in me makes all of the difference in how I feel. Many have been blessed with families and friends who love them and support them. However, if you ever feel alone please know that we can always rely on the support and love of our Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to be happy. He believes we can do it! We are never really alone and really, just having that support can make all of the difference.

Wind Storm

The area in which I live recently experienced some serious wind storms (gusts up to 100 miles an hour) which created over $8 million worth of damages to properties in one day. Looking out of my window it was in surreal to see shingles flying, fences smashed, and many, many huge trees toppled over. We were only without power for one day (I feel like a little bit of my sanity was restored when it went back on - blackouts with small children = no fun at all) and luckily there was very little damage to our property. Miraculously, there were no injuries during these storms and it is truly humbling to see damage all around and realize that amidst the chaos people were safe. However, when the winds stopped and our neighborhood began assessing damages it was evident that there was a LOT of cleanup to be done.

What I have seen over the past three days has truly made me realize the power and amazing organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints. Volunteer crews were mobilized and every able-body person was put to work. Neighbors helped neighbors and all served alongside one another. Personally, I was able to make a connection with an older neighbor who has been distant as we raked and cleaned-up beside one another for hours. In a Saturday we were able to get almost all of the waste piled high in our church parking lot (which had brought in several dumpsters that were filled to overflowing). On Sunday another storm was predicted that night and the National Guard was mobilized to help with the cleanup. When they called leaders in our area it was reported that we had been able to clean up the day before, but the piles around the community needed to be secured as to not cause further damage in high winds. Churches all over the area shortened or cancelled their normal three hour time frame and all worked again to prepare for the storm.

I have often read about similar volunteer efforts happening in other places in the world, but I have never witnessed it firsthand. It was indescribably touching to watch old and young (my four year old worked so hard!) from all backgrounds working together under the church and municipal leadership in our area. LDS churches all over our communities had parking lots full of debris as a testament to the hard work and dedication of volunteers. Last night we weathered the second round of the storm and it seems that our preparation made a huge difference. I am grateful to belong to a church that teaches true doctrine and when it is time to work, lays aside church clothes for work gloves and rakes. I truly witnessed the gospel in action this weekend and am changed for the better.

Picture: My husband standing in front of the piles of debris at our church after a weekend of hard and amazing work.

Choose to be Happy Now.

This post was originally posted here. 

I remember when my husband and I were first married looking around our apartment and realizing we owned nothing new. Our couch had belonged to a member of my husband’s church. My mom had picked up our kitchen table at a yard sale and our washer and dryer were the ones that my parents had bought when they were first married more than 25 years earlier. We lived in a small apartment and hardly owned anything nice but we were really happy.

About a year into our marriage, the jealousy bug bit me. We went to visit a newly married friend in their new apartment and everything they had was gorgeous. They had chosen not to go on a honeymoon or have a reception, so they had a lot more money to decorate. I was suddenly no longer happy to just have a bed, couch and a washer of my own, I was bitter that my things weren’t as nice as theirs.

I eventually got over our apartment and went back to loving it for what it was, our first place together that we would always remember.

My husband and I have joked throughout our whole marriage that we are the unluckiest people we know. The star don’t align for us, ever usually. We worked hard all through college, often forgoing sleep to earn a little extra money or study a little longer, while many people we knew had parents paying for their college. Our jobs in college were both contingent on being students, so we lost our jobs the day we graduated, five days after we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. The economy had begun its steep decline just months before, so it was more than 9 months before we ever saw another paycheck. I could go on and list the health problems that have plagued us and other misfortunes.

Now I don’t say any of this to make people feel sorry for us -- I am sure everybody has their share of misfortune -- but to help you understand how frustrated I was with our lives. We watch miraculous jobs fall into people's laps in their hometowns while we had to move thousands of miles away for my husband to get employment. So by the time we made it to our new house in Texas, I was bitter again. I had just left the state I had lived in all my life, my parents and my best friend to live in what I thought was the worst place in the world. After a couple of months of crying on the phone to my mom, she begged me to try to be happy. Pretend to be happy for a week and see how it goes.

That night when my husband walked into the house there was dinner on the stove and I was dancing with our baby in the kitchen. He stopped and searched my face for the tears he thought had to be hidden there but I was determined that he wasn’t going to find them, even though I was crying inside. We sat down at dinner and ended up talking and laughing for hours. As I laid down to go to bed that night, I realized that for the first time in Texas, I was genuinely happy.

Now in the two years since that night, I have had to choose to be happy over and over again.

The days that huge medical bills have landed on us, I have chosen to not let something I can’t change upset me.

On the days my child won’t stop being defiant, I have chosen to play with her and let her know how truly loved she is.

On the days I have felt like crying, I have cried and then picked myself up again and decided to be happy.

Happiness is a choice, sometimes a really hard one, but one that gets easier and more wonderful the harder you try at it. Is our life better now? In some ways, yes, but even if it isn’t, it SEEMS better because I have chosen to be happy about it.

Happiness is always a choice. Stop wasting your life away wishing for something in the future. Stop saying you will be happy when you get that raise, or you baby sleeps through the night. If you keep saying that when the deadline comes for being happy you will just find another deadline to push your happiness to. Choose to be happy and choose to be happy now. 

Looking for People's Signs

This post is a little long, but it is a fantastic reminder to be kind to others because we never know what they're going through. Please check it out, it really is a sweet story.

Daughters in My Kingdom

Women in the church have always played a pivotal role, especially in caring for the temporal needs of those around them. I love learning about how important women have been in the restored church (since the time of Joseph Smith). The Relief Society leadership has just released a wonderful history, called Daughters in My Kingdom and I have been thoroughly enjoying the history and doctrine in this work. Here is a wonderful message from Sister Julie B. Beck about realizing the importance of our gifts and introducing this great book.