Choose to be Happy Now.

This post was originally posted here. 

I remember when my husband and I were first married looking around our apartment and realizing we owned nothing new. Our couch had belonged to a member of my husband’s church. My mom had picked up our kitchen table at a yard sale and our washer and dryer were the ones that my parents had bought when they were first married more than 25 years earlier. We lived in a small apartment and hardly owned anything nice but we were really happy.

About a year into our marriage, the jealousy bug bit me. We went to visit a newly married friend in their new apartment and everything they had was gorgeous. They had chosen not to go on a honeymoon or have a reception, so they had a lot more money to decorate. I was suddenly no longer happy to just have a bed, couch and a washer of my own, I was bitter that my things weren’t as nice as theirs.

I eventually got over our apartment and went back to loving it for what it was, our first place together that we would always remember.

My husband and I have joked throughout our whole marriage that we are the unluckiest people we know. The star don’t align for us, ever usually. We worked hard all through college, often forgoing sleep to earn a little extra money or study a little longer, while many people we knew had parents paying for their college. Our jobs in college were both contingent on being students, so we lost our jobs the day we graduated, five days after we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. The economy had begun its steep decline just months before, so it was more than 9 months before we ever saw another paycheck. I could go on and list the health problems that have plagued us and other misfortunes.

Now I don’t say any of this to make people feel sorry for us -- I am sure everybody has their share of misfortune -- but to help you understand how frustrated I was with our lives. We watch miraculous jobs fall into people's laps in their hometowns while we had to move thousands of miles away for my husband to get employment. So by the time we made it to our new house in Texas, I was bitter again. I had just left the state I had lived in all my life, my parents and my best friend to live in what I thought was the worst place in the world. After a couple of months of crying on the phone to my mom, she begged me to try to be happy. Pretend to be happy for a week and see how it goes.

That night when my husband walked into the house there was dinner on the stove and I was dancing with our baby in the kitchen. He stopped and searched my face for the tears he thought had to be hidden there but I was determined that he wasn’t going to find them, even though I was crying inside. We sat down at dinner and ended up talking and laughing for hours. As I laid down to go to bed that night, I realized that for the first time in Texas, I was genuinely happy.

Now in the two years since that night, I have had to choose to be happy over and over again.

The days that huge medical bills have landed on us, I have chosen to not let something I can’t change upset me.

On the days my child won’t stop being defiant, I have chosen to play with her and let her know how truly loved she is.

On the days I have felt like crying, I have cried and then picked myself up again and decided to be happy.

Happiness is a choice, sometimes a really hard one, but one that gets easier and more wonderful the harder you try at it. Is our life better now? In some ways, yes, but even if it isn’t, it SEEMS better because I have chosen to be happy about it.

Happiness is always a choice. Stop wasting your life away wishing for something in the future. Stop saying you will be happy when you get that raise, or you baby sleeps through the night. If you keep saying that when the deadline comes for being happy you will just find another deadline to push your happiness to. Choose to be happy and choose to be happy now. 

Looking for People's Signs

This post is a little long, but it is a fantastic reminder to be kind to others because we never know what they're going through. Please check it out, it really is a sweet story.

Daughters in My Kingdom

Women in the church have always played a pivotal role, especially in caring for the temporal needs of those around them. I love learning about how important women have been in the restored church (since the time of Joseph Smith). The Relief Society leadership has just released a wonderful history, called Daughters in My Kingdom and I have been thoroughly enjoying the history and doctrine in this work. Here is a wonderful message from Sister Julie B. Beck about realizing the importance of our gifts and introducing this great book.

The Great Welfare Plan

I recently read parts of Stacy McDonald's thoughtful 4 part series on "Grace Widows," or one who is an "innocent party in divorce."  Stacy goes on to say how those in the church (Christians) need to care for these women (or men) who have experienced this kind of trauma.  She also gives ideas on how to help.  I thought, yes, families surely need to be particularly supportive in this type of situation, both financially and emotionally (when able), and when that can't happen, the church needs to step in.  Of course after that, government and other community programs are very nice.

At church on Sunday, we were learning about Saul/Paul and the expansion of the early Christian church.  We were reading Acts chapter 6 verse 1:

And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration.

What struck me was one of the reasons for the expansion of the church was the care of widows! 

Then I remembered what a great modern welfare plan The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has to care for  widows and others who need help.  I realized what a blessing it is that the organization of The Church has expanded the globe, so it is easily able to reach so many people, including widows.


I had the opportunity to work for the Welfare Department of The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints for a span of 8 years.  What a marvelous opportunity it was to see the Gospel in action in this manner.  I was able to see Church work in Kosovo, response to Hurricane Mitch, the employment and food production programs, humanitarian aid, and so much more.  I will always be a "Welfare Girl," and the Welfare Department will always hold a special place in my heart.  What a wonderful program; what a wonderful place.

The Church Welfare program had it's 75th anniversary this year.  Here's a little video:



Lots more awesome videos here if you are interested.

Recapturing Beauty

Sunday was a beautiful day for me-- I enjoyed *every second* of my church meetings {which you know, as a mother, is a rare thing indeed!} but most particularly, we had a wonderful lesson in Relief Society about inner beauty. This is not a new topic, but it was presented so powerfully today, along with a challenge to participate in a 10-day recapturing beauty challenge. I have every intention of completing this challenge, and I hope some of you will consider it as well!

I know {or hope} that I am not the only one who struggles with self-image at times. We all do -- how can we not, with the media playing such a significant role in our daily lives? Of course I'm aware of those extra pounds, the freckles on my face, flat hair, etc. etc. etc. However, I have been really trying lately to see myself as the Lord sees me. He created me this way for a purpose, so I truly believe it is my obligation, and hopefully some day pleasure, to see me in the same Light that He sees me. I hope that we as women can recognize our incredible

nature, and rise above the messages thrown at us from a compromised world.

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years." -Audrey Hepburn

I'm excited to spend the next 10 days focusing on my inner beauty ... I hope you'll consider joining me!

RECAPTURING BEAUTY

We ARE Children of God

I recently learned of somebody dear to me treating themselves very badly. I'd like to avoid writing about the details but as I learned, I felt sadder than I may have ever felt in my life. I wondered what had happened to this person to make them even want to be so cruel to themselves. I cried and I prayed for their relief from what they may not even recognize as suffering. And I was beyond grateful for my understanding of the message in this simple children's hymn. We ARE all children of God. I don't know everything, but I do know that beyond any shadow of a doubt. And despite our different upbringings, trials, and circumstances... we can find peace in knowing that our bodies were not designed on accident. They were created in the imagine of God himself. They are glorified and powerful and deserve our respect.

Dresses

I love this video and how inspiring this young women's simple idea is to help out those around her with a seemingly small problem. However, I know that being modest is not as easy as it sounds and I commend those that desire cover up more than the world is telling women to do so and by doing this becoming all the more beautiful. I'm not sure why the side of the video is getting cut off, so if you're having this problem, check out the original link.